Thursday 17 December 2009

All I want for Christmas is...Gloria Hunniford talking about Angels?

Christmas TV! Love it or hate it, it's still a force to be reckoned with. The question is: do you watch the rubbish crimbo films you've seen year in, year out, and you either own on DVD, VHS or waiting under the tree from the grandma who doesn't really know you? Or do you venture into the one off TV shows that only rear their ugly heads at Christmas time?

It's not all bad though. There's the token Christmas specials of our favourite shows like Gavin and Stacey, and The Royle Family (yes another one!) Don't forget last year's old Christmas specials, for some reason BBC3, E4, Dave and all our other favourite TV stations think we want to see old plots of old Christmas specials every year.

Not forgetting the feasts for the eyes, yes every year our favourite celebrity chefs present their Christmas favourites. It's astounding how many different people we can watch making the same meal, deserts, starters, alchoholic drinks, and mince pies.

But the thing that really got me this year, was Gloria Hunniford (yes THAT old women with a confusing accent) presenting her Christmas special of Angels. The ad sums it up really: she proclaims "We all know that Angels are important at Christmas time" and that's all you need for Christmas. A bunch of loons talking about apparitions that may or may not have happened, while Gloria Hunniford uses the birth of the saviour as an excuse to expose these mad tales to the general public.

Have a lovely Christmas, and good luck in finding something decent to watch this season.

Friday 20 November 2009

Hail to the bus driver

So last week my car broke down, don't worry people it's fixed now, but it got me thinking: How did I go so long relying on the Norwich Bus service?

Don't get me wrong the 25 and 35 are almost always sometimes reliable, but what about those of us who live outside of the clutches of the university route?

The bus that I need to get in the morning is supposed to come every 20 minutes, but you can guarantee that the only time it actually will be on time is the time that you are late. It's bad for us students who are running late to their lectures like always, but what really gets you is when you're standing next to a kind old lady who looks like she's about to turn blue. Then there are the cold winter afternoons where all is dark by 4 and you need to get to riverside so you grab a bus, and lo and behold there are chavs playing annoying music from their terribly lo-fi phones, yelling to each other about their sexual exploits (even though they only look 14,) and then for some reason telling a 20 year old of the same gender that they are sexy (I didn't know whether to be flattered or afraid.)

Even for the handy uni buses, some of the drivers seem to hold a grudge against students for being younger than them and not on a bus all day long. I've had some odd comments from a driver, from "That bus pass doesn't look like you!" to "University?! I wish I was going to University" and even the creepy beckoning over and whispering "Stop looking so grumpy, you'll make me sad." The best, and weirdest moment I've ever had on a bus was the bus driver who was paused in traffic half a meter away from the bus stop who wouldn't let me on, when he finally relented then reproached "What do you think you are doing, getting on the bus in the middle of the road? Does this look like a bus stop?" To which I had to hold my tongue in replying "Well the bus is stopped....just after a bus stop."

I have a theory, these drivers try to get our attention in weird and wonderful ways because they are not Clive Ashcroft and will never be! The more downbeat drivers have come to terms with this but some still hold out hope that there is room for more than one legend in the Norwich First Bus world, but these bus drivers need to realise there will only be 1 Clive, but then that's a realisation we all need to come to one day.

Wednesday 11 November 2009

The Axe Factor

Let me be the first to say it! We love The X Factor! I've been watching Telly Talent Shows since the hay day of Hearsay being crapped all over by their not preferred, but somehow more successful rivals Liberty X.


Yes, the auditions may be better than the actual contest with some of the best, worst, and downright weirdest performances you would have ever seen



And yes, the producers may have already picked out a winner from the first episode of the show.



But gosh darnit we love this show...or, at least we did.

It's time to face up to the facts. The X Factor has lost it, it no longer has the X Factor! From the first episode of the new series it was obvious that the show was trying to keep up. I can kind of understand why they wanted to steal the popular audition set up from Britain's Got Talent, but the auditions was one of the best parts of the show, and now with an audience there we are sorely missing the awkward moments when a bad contestant really thinks they are good, or when they are close enough to the judges to throw water on them. Not to mention the competitive attitude that the judges have taken to. Now that's not to say this is the first time they have boasted to eachother that their groups are better, and they as a judge WILL WIN this year, but this year they Simon seems to have lost his partial stand point and good criticism skills, he is blinded by love for his 3 boys. And anyone who will say Cheryl Cole's new single is "good" is deluded by money.

Now all of this was fine, it was quite annoying, but bearable. The thing that topped me was the fact that Jedward were in the bottom two last week, but somehow they are still in the competition, while the talented (if not dull) Lucie was kicked out. Simon Cowell, you have done Britain a disservice. The whole point of the judges getting the final vote is for situations like that, so good singers will stay in the competition and underage boys who can't even rap in tune will not have to be endured for another week!

The whole thing makes me want to turn over the channel and watch Brucie make some uncomfortable sexist and racist jokes for the evening.